Unexpectedly, Loners Have Their Own Allure
by Marx Avian II
Summary: Constantly being treated like trash day after day. Being the detested loner that his peers would rather avoid at all costs... It is a difficult and taxing life that Hikigaya Hachiman was forced to lead. However, he's fine with it. The loner life was the only one that suited him. Or, at least, he thought so. It turns out having someone who truly loved him made it easier to bear.


**A/N: A Fair Warning: There is Yaoi in this story. If you dont like that, its probably best to turn back now. However, I do ask that you give the story a chance all the same. You may surprise yourself.**

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A relationship is… a broad term. By definition, a relationship is not something that can be described by a single definition or by a single emotion. It varies vastly from person to person, modifying itself according to their whims, preferences, and outlook. What may be a positive relationship to one person could be disgustingly toxic to another. What may be love, could simply be an obsession. What may be friendship, might only be tolerance. What may be family, may only be delusion.

Then there was the trouble of classifying just what fell under the wide umbrella of a 'relationship'. Obviously, some stranger you offered your seat on the train to cant be considered a relationship, it is a bond that is too fleeting and inconsequential. A childhood friend that you drifted from? Perhaps, but it was just as fleeting, and far more painful. A friend is surely a relationship, just the same as a best friend.

But what about a lover? If such a thing could be considered a relationship, it would be unfair to rank it on the same level as a mere friend; it would be an insult to the kindled emotions involved in love, after all. So what was it? A higher, more profound form of a relationship?

Or was it something else entirely?

Love, true intimate love, was something that was made up of feelings completely different from a normal relationship. Kinship, sympathy, attraction, devotion, attachment.

...**Passion.**

Whatever the case, relationships and love were fickle things that were difficult to understand. Some may even say that the purpose of life is simply a journey to uncover the meaning of the words.

Hikigaya Hachiman had never loved or been loved. There was a time where he believed he'd felt it, but that wasn't the case. He had simply deluded himself into believing so. His misguided feelings had hit a dead end, lured into a false sense of hope by careless compassion. At that time, his heart grew just a little harder, and his eyes just a little more unpleasant.

There was his family. His precious smiling sister was an image that readily appeared when he contemplated 'love'. But it too had dulled with time. The love between them was the kind that siblings were expected to share. The kind of feelings that were completely expected in society.

If they were total strangers, or even just simple friends, would their care for eachother be the same? Would they still talk so freely? Doubtful. Though the thought made ash sit on his tongue, he knew that his precious sister was just a merciful gift to his lonely soul- one earned only through his birth.

...He would rather not think of his parents right now.

Love was something unattainable. Something that could only be observed, not truly experienced by himself. If his ugly eyes and unpleasant personality didn't make it difficult enough to find a suitable partner, then his fatalistic outlook on life most certainly did.

That was okay with him though. That was his true self. If nobody could love him for those faults, then their love was meaningless. Because, above all else, love had to be _genuine_.

...

"Hikki?"

Hachiman gave a start, his fingers stilling against his phone as he turned an incredulous look up to the light-orange haired girl across the table. Normally he was more receptive to her whimsical nature of breaking his concentration, but he could have done without the light kick to his shins.

"...What is it?" His coarse, dead voice was just as unwelcome as always, but Yuigahama only gave a slight giggle- more than used to it.

"I'm just wondering what you're up to. You've been playing around on your phone since club started today." Yuigahama tilted her head as she spoke, sending her cuteness spiking up just a couple more levels.

"Indeed, it is highly unusual for you." Yukinoshita, the ice queen that she was, leveled a stern look at him that he tried not flinch under. "I do hope you're not looking at anything illicit. I would very much like to preserve the sanctity of this clubroom."

Hachiman sighed, the jab at his person almost routine now. "You know, if perverted things are the first thing you think of, that's more telling of _your_ character."

"Oh? But I am not the one researching perverted material in front of two girls, now am I? My 'perceived' misdeeds pale to your actual crimes."

Damn. Yukino truly was a quick-draw when it came to insulting him.

The bad-eyed teen sighed, turning his phone screen off. "I wasn't looking at anything perverted. There. Happy?"

"Hardly. Now the thought of you doing such things won't leave me. I believe I will need a very cold bath later."

"...With your cold heart I thought that was all you took."

"And I am certain that an unpleasant insect like you doesn't take baths at all, Hikigross-kun."

He could have mounted some sort of rebuttal about showers being the superior method of cleansing oneself, but he knew a losing battle when he saw one.

Yuigahama piped up once more, her perky voice stealing away his attention. "So what were you doing?"

Seeing absolutely no where else to run, he wearily gave in. "Texting."

"Texting? You?" Yuigahama's surprise at his answer definitely felt like a kick to his ego. Her scandalous gasp only further stomped on his deflated pride. "Is it a girl?"

"...Yes."

"How abhorrent." Yukinoshita and her cold voice returned with eerie speed, "Is subjecting us to your presence not good enough for you? Are you like a spreading virus that must infect other poor girls by your very nature?"

This sort of talk was nothing new to him. In fact, from the very first day he had joined this club, those insults of hers had never stopped flying. They were a part of Yukino's character. And he wouldn't lie, their byplay could be sort of fun at times- a good divergence from the mundane school life and pathetic prattle of riajuu.

However, even now there was the barest sting at his chest when the two hurled their barbs. It wasn't profound by any means and he easily kept it from appearing on his face, but it was there all the same. After all getting constantly put down, even if only in good fun, could make anyone weary.

With every strike to his character, he simply felt himself growing more and more tired.

"So please, enlighten us, Hikigerm-kun. Who is this 'girl'?"

"Ugh. Its my sister, alright? She's just… asking me to pick up some groceries on the way home."

Yukinoshita balked, "You had that disturbing smile while texting your sister?"

Against his better judgement, Hachiman touched his mouth and blinked in surprise. Had he been smiling? He didn't even realize it.

"W-well, who wouldn't smile? When you have the cutest sister in the world, it's only natural."

"Siscon."

"Siscon!" Yuigahama chirped, sharing the same vaguely grossed out expression that she somehow melded into a gleeful smile.

"Siscon my ass…" He glared at the two, a gesture that wasn't all too noticeable since he almost always appeared to be scowling.

"Your poor sister. I can only imagine her pain, being subjected to those dead-fish eyes day after day."

The eyes again? He had half a mind to tell Yukino that she was running low on firepower.

The conversation dissolved back into amicable silence, broken up by the occasional excited chirping of Yuigahama talking to Yukino. But the lingering weight of the previous conversation still weighed heavily. It was a lighthearted conversation, no different than the ones they usually had, but today Hachiman just couldn't quite forget it. It weighed on the back of his neck like a barbell, making his already exhausted body sag further in fatigue.

If this went on, he might just end up passing out in the club. Yukino would never let him live that down.

At a lull in the conversation, he stood and slid his chair back under the table, garnering the attention of the two girls.

Yukinoshita raised a dainty, quizzical brow. "Hikigaya-kun? What are you doing?"

"Getting a drink. I'm parched." Not even quite a lie.

"Oh? Is your gluttony so great that the tea I brewed was not enough for you?"

"...I get thirsty easily."

Yukino sighed while Yuigahama giggled at her side, "I can imagine. Fine, go then. But do be quick about it. It would not reflect well on the service club if our mascot was not around when a request comes in."

"Yeah, yeah…" Hachiman rolled his eyes and stepped out of the door, closing it behind him. A heavy, exhausted sigh left his mouth as soon as the room was sealed. An ache ran through his body, and his eyes seemed even less pleasant- if such a thing were possible.

At this time of day, the school halls were blessedly empty. The more sane individuals were already long on their way home, and those stupid enough to stay (him, apparently) were holed up in their clubrooms. Walking without having to hear the constant chatter of fools and morons was absolute bliss for the loner, and he savored the silence with his every drawn out step.

Already he could feel the weight of exhaustion lifting ever so slightly. It was still there, present just behind his chest like some sort of malignant cancer, but it was repressed. With time to just breathe without having to worry about being stabbed with an insult or sent the odd, hateful look, he could just simply enjoy himself.

"Hikio."

Which was why, of course, it had to come to a swift end in the worst way possible.

He stopped, mostly because running away would cause even more problems, and turned to address the flame queen of Sobu, Miura. "...That's not my name, you know."

"Dont care, Hikio is still Hikio." Ah, what a cold answer from the flame queen. Yukinoshita should hurry up and copyright her coldness before more people steal it. "Also, don't look at me with those eyes. I'm feeling sick already."

Now he scowled, his patience began to wear thin. "You're the one that called out to me."

"Whatever. Have you seen Hayama-kun?"

What a completely predictable question. "Uh, not lately. I'd guess he'd be at the soccer field for practice." Please go there and stay so he didn't have to bask in her presence any longer.

"There is no soccer practice today. Are you really that stupid?" Miura scowled at him, cocking a hip as disgust almost rolled off her every word.

"Then… I guess he went home."

"Ugh. Why do I even bother? I knew you'd be useless…" With that non-farewell, Miura turned her back on him and stomped away.

"...I get better test scores than you," Hachiman murmured once she disappeared around a corner. Yes, it was a bit childish, but there was no way he would be able to say that sort of thing directly to her face. It would be a completely different form of social suicide.

Just like that, any relief he had gotten from his moment of solitude was up in the wind. The heavy exhaustion was back, this time with a vengeance. He actually had to rub his tired eyes and let out a suffering groan.

Hachiman was not a weak person. He could handle this sort of thing easily, that was just the kind of guy he was. But these kinds of things happened on an almost daily basis. Every single day, he would receive this treatment from someone or another- these unpleasant encounters happening back to back over weeks of time.

Being subjected to this for almost a majority of his life, he expected he would have gotten some thicker skin. But that wasn't the case at all. The insults didn't exactly hurt anymore, they were just… draining.

He wanted to go home.

…

The vending machine he sought was a bit out of the way. He didn't mind the walk all too much, and for the sake of his MAX coffee, it was a journey he was prepared to take. The last bits of his yen went to good use, dropping the cool drink into his waiting hand.

Not a single soul was around when he turned and pressed his back against the machine. This area of the school was usually vacant at the best of times. It was especially so at this time of day. Good. He didn't know what he would do if he had to endure anymore 'conversations'.

His expert hands popped open the tab, allowing him to take a long drought of the iced coffee. When he pulled away, his eyes shut in pure bliss as he allowed a faint smile to curl his lips. The MAX coffee was so very sweet, and when it went down he could feel it cooling his tight chest and easing the tension that had been building up over the day.

It didn't cure him. The weight and exhaustion was still there as a foreboding presence, but now he could ignore it. The sweet coffee allowed him to take his mind off of all his troubles and just lose himself in the moment. He didn't worry about what new abuse Yukinoshita would concoct when he returned. He didn't let his mind cross to Hayama or his annoying clique that represented everything he hated about society. He didn't grouse at the way Hiratsuka hijacked his life.

Unfortunately, the moment did not last for long. Eventually, the sweet taste faded, leaving him to silently nurse the can as his overactive mind went right back to its self-deprecation. He gently sighed, resting his head back against the machine.

"Oh? Hikigaya. Didn't expect to see you here."

Hachiman jolted, fish-eyes blinking open as he pulled his head back up. Walking up to him was a familiar face, and for just a moment, Hachiman hesitated.

The student came up to him, a gentle, easy-going smile on his face. The other guy was unremarkable in pretty much every way. Ear-length black hair, brown eyes, and a properly worn uniform. His face was handsome enough, not exactly Hayama levels of looks, but a normal, pleasing countenance. He looked like one of those unnamed mobs that an animator would drop into a scene to make it look like there were more than just the main characters in a room.

He also stood about a head taller than Hachiman. No small feat.

Hachiman frowned, glaring at him lightly. "We meet again. Are you stalking me?"

The other boy chuckled, his easy-going smile not weakening in the slightest, "Come on, you know the newspaper club is close by here. I'm just here to get a drink."

Hikigaya nodded, stepping away from the machine so the other student could get to it. Sending him a grateful nod, he appraised the selection with a critical eye, his posture utterly relaxed.

"Either way," The student continued, shooting a small glance aside to Hachiman as he sipped marginally from his can, "It's nice to see a friendly face."

Their manner of speaking was vastly different. Where Hachiman's voice was dour, and coarse, his voice was pleasant and smooth. However, their way of speaking shared similarities in their short-spoken, soft-toned way. Neither going far above a certain volume threshold and neither seeking out pointless conversation topics just to fill in space like 'the weather' or 'grades'.

Hachiman made no outward reaction to his statement, only shooting him an unamused glare. "Tch. You talk like an old man."

Another light chuckle, this time stifled behind a fist. "I'm serious! Sure, it's fun just texting you, but it's nice to meet up every now and then."

"Because of your texting my clubmates got on my ass again. Knowing you is turning out to be more of a pain than I expected."

The other teen at least looked sheepish at that, his hand finding his selection finally. "Is that so…? My bad then, I guess it never really crossed my mind." There was true remorse in his expression, and it was such an uncommon sight for the dead-eyed student that he couldn't help but blink in surprise.

After a moment, the other student stood back to his full height, a water bottle clutched in his hand. Hachiman rolled his eyes at that. He did it again… wasting money on bottles of water when there were literally water fountains _everywhere_.

The two stood with their backs against the wall, staring down the empty hallway as they drank from their respective choices. The silence was surprisingly comfortable. There was none of the expected tension between students that there would usually be- no expectation to pointlessly start a conversation. Hachiman had no desire to speak without reason at the moment, and the other boy seemed to share that notion. Or, at least, he respected Hachiman enough to not go against his wishes.

After a minute, the taller teen spoke again, his voice soft, "Is that why you're here? Getting some peace from your club?"

Hachiman turned to him for a moment before looking back down the hall again, his dead-eyed face furrowing into a small, unpleasant frown. "...No. I was just thirsty."

The teen nodded absently, not digging any further. Another moment of silence passed.

"I wanted to get away from my club." The taller teen admitted, a weak smile on his face. "Don't get me wrong, I like those guys. But… they're just so loud all the time. Always trying to get their voices over everyone else's… I've told them to quiet down more than once but, well, it's hard to do that firmly. Makes me look like I've got a stick up my ass."

"All those loud voices gave me a headache, so here I am. Just… getting away for the moment, I guess."

Hikigaya looked at him oddly, his eyes searching the other tired teens face. A small feeling of understanding filled him, their reasons for being here rather similar in a way.

"...Is that so?"

The other boy turned to him, a sincere smile on his face. "...You know you lowered your voice just now, right?"

Hachiman gave a start, his eyes shooting wide open as his jaw dropped slightly. The skin of his cheeks turned the barest of pink as he scowled in embarrassment and tossed the empty can of MAX coffee into the trash. Fuming, he turned his back on the other teen, stomping back down the hall toward the service club room.

The boy lightly laughed once more, tossing away his own empty bottle and looking at the supremely annoyed teen's retreating form.

"Hikigaya."

Hachiman stopped short in the middle of the hall, his hands at his sides. The barest of shivers went through his body, almost imperceptibly, as he kept his back turned to the boy. The sound of footsteps seemed so much louder in the empty, silent space- growing ever louder and closer until they stopped just behind him.

Slowly, hesitantly, Hachiman turned on the spot and found the other boy much closer than he had ever been since they met at the vending machine. With the space between them limited, he seemed much taller than before. Hachiman's breaths came out shallow, heating the air slightly as he glanced up at the other boys eyes and averted his sight again and again.

The boy's hand came up, grasping Hachiman's chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing him to meet his eyes even as he quivered against his fingers. A gentle, yet firm grip that kept him still. Even as unaccustomed to such a touch as he was, he didn't pull away. His breath just quickened further, his dead eyes locked with those brown orbs.

He descended, and Hachiman let out a quiet gasp as he drew near.

"Ah… W-wai—!"

Before he could say anything else, the boys lips captured his own in a kiss. An intense flurry of emotions instantly bloomed at the contact. Their lips melded together tightly, almost sealing together as the taller boy leaned over him.

Hachiman's eyes were closed tightly, his face beet red as all the sensations came crashing down over him. Light, raspy gasps escaped his mouth every time their lips separated for the barest of moments— only for them to come crashing back together with even more passion. His entire body trembled, melting against the grip on his chin as he lost himself in the overwhelming feelings.

When a tongue teased over his lips and forced its way into his mouth, Hachiman _mewled._ The invading tongue didn't hold back in the slightest; it ran across his teeth gently, prying more involuntary shivers from the dead-eyed teen. When Hachiman's tongue would retreat hesitantly, the taller boy simply pulled his face in closer— broaching the space so that his slippery muscle could press and writhe against his own.

Hachiman's mind blanked out. He couldn't think of anything other than the intense emotions being stirred up with every passing moment. The base of his spine tingled, causing muffled moans and gasps to escape his mouth every now and then. At first his body had been stiff as a board, but as the kiss deepened his limbs had grown lax; his body had completely relaxed against the other boy's hand as time seemed to stretch on.

At length, the other teen pulled away. Thin strings of saliva stretched between their open mouths, trembling in the air as Hachiman greedily panted for breath. The brown-eyed boy smiled at the look on Hachiman's face, etching it into his mind.

"Ha...Haa…"

Hachiman's half-lidded eyes were unfocused, staring up at him blearily as if his mind was elsewhere. His face was utterly flushed, and his mouth was still partially open— his soft, glossy lips the most inviting thing the other boy could possibly imagine.

The hallway was still empty. Silent, save for their laboured breaths.

The taller teen smiled down at him, his own face marginally flushed— though not nearly at the level that Hachiman's was. "I'll see you around, Hikigaya."

He briefly pressed his lips against his again, eliciting another embarrassing mewl from him before pulling away and releasing his chin. The student walked away, leaving Hachiman to stare with the same dazed expression after him as he disappeared around the corner. His body only flushed further once he was alone.

Hachiman grunted and slapped at his cheeks, frowning in annoyance as he tried to get his face back under control. He just knew that he had an embarrassing look on his face. It was bad enough that one person had seen it, but he would sooner die than let anyone else see it.

He turned away and continued back down the hall. His chest lighter, and his eyes just a bit brighter.

…

"You certainly took your time."

Hachiman rolled his eyes, strolling back to his side of the table and dumping himself into his seat. "The closest machine was out, I had to walk a bit farther."

Yukinoshita narrowed her eyes, well aware of the lengths her companion would go to get that abhorrent caffeinated drink. "And you couldn't have chosen a different drink instead of wasting time?"

Hachiman met her glare easily, "Oh come on. It's not like I actually missed anything. There were no requests, right?"

"Well… no. But it's the principle of the matter. Making two upstanding women wait for you is hardly befitting of a gentleman."

Yukinoshita eyed him up and down, "...Even if you are anything but."

Hachiman only offered an annoyed look, his hand pulling up a book that he instead turned his attention to. His body language was utterly at ease, an almost serene look on his face as he divulged in the book.

Yuigahama looked at him oddly, her social instincts flaring up as she stared at him. "Hikki. You know you look… different? Kinda like you're glowing."

The ice queen mused on that as she realized what Yui was hinting at. "Hmm… You may be right. Hikki-cretin-kun does seem different. I trust you didn't do anything unpleasant while you were gone?"

The weight and overwhelming fatigue from before was completely gone. The absence of that exhaustion in his body was actually visible to the two girls, and they took notice of it immediately.

Hachiman looked at the two before averting his eyes. "No, I just had some MAX coffee."

Yukinoshita grimaced in disgust, "Ugh. I should've known. Only you would have such a face from drinking that stuff."

"Well…" Yuigahama gave her great big smile, "It's just like Hikki, wouldn't you agree? It's almost like he lives off that stuff!"

Hachiman rolled his eyes as the two began to take their snipes at him again. But he couldn't really focus on it, the words simply went in one ear and out the other. Instead, all he could think about was the lingering sweet taste of his coffee playing on his tongue and the warm feeling in his chest.

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**A/N:**

**Sometimes you just want to write something, and absolutely nothing can stop you. ****Usually I'm not fond of BL, but I had to make an exception for writing this.**

**I've been on a bender reading Snafu stories lately, and since Hachiman is pretty much treated like shit universally (by characters) I decided to be a little indulgent and just create a character that loved him. Nothing more to it than that. Just freedom to write fluff to my hearts content.**

**There wont be any real plot to this. If there are more chapters they will be loosely connected shorts that I'll throw out from time to time.**

**Good? Bad? Who can be sure. Reviews are appreciated.**


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